Black men idolize Future because #masculinitysofragile (woman’s POV)

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Why do some young black men idolize the rapper Future? The short answer: they see themselves. I’ll explain why that’s not necessarily a good thing.

To read the male response to this piece, click here.


Now, I have no shame. I’ll definitely be the first one running to the dance floor when they play “March Madness.” That. Is. My. Shit.

That’s not the only Future song I unabashedly jam out to: “Where Ya At,” “Fuck Up Some Commas,” “Trap Niggas.”  And umm, have you heard Purple Reign??

I would even go as far as to argue Future’s a musical genius. People pegged him as a one hit wonder, but Future has been a steady presence in the rap game years now with hit after hit. It just won’t stop!

In other words: I’m a Future fan. He’s sensational.


What I’m not a fan of is the Future outside of the artistry. Nayvadius, I guess you could call him. That’s the man with four baby mamas, the one who cheated on his fiancee, the one who called the mother of his child and ex-fiancee a bitch, the one who disrespects his baby mom’s boyfriend–not a fan of that guy.

Nevertheless, that ratchet shaking her ass harder than the strippers to the latest Future banger  in the middle of  Stadium would be me. She would be me.

I don’t let my dislike for Future the person stop me from enjoying Future the artist. I’d miss out on a lot of good music! I shrug and keep on twerking.

On the other hand, there’s a difference between being a fan of a celebrity and idolizing a celebrity. Like there’s a difference between being a Beyonce fan and being a crazed Bey Hive member ready to curse out and fight anyone who insults King Bey.

“I’m thinking about this cash just like it’s fast food.”

My eyes were opened when that picture of baby Future and Russell Wilson surfaced. Wilson, Ciara’s new boyfriend, was seen playing with baby Future in Wilson’s jersey. The disrespect! Adult Future was not happy. He took to Twitter and called Wilson a “punk ass hoe.”

Can we take a minute to laugh at that insult?


The image that sparked a social media frenzy.

Anyways, of course Twitter and Facebook was in an uproar! Everyone was discussing the picture in comments and tweets, debating whether or not Ciara was right to have her child around her new man. It was a split between Ciara being disrespectful for letting baby Future around her new man and Ciara being a grownasswoman who is capable of making the choice on whether or not to have her son around Wilson. Luckily, common sense prevailed and I saw more people lean towards the latter stance.

But I was shocked. I was shocked at the number of men, young black men especially, who staunchly defended Future.

Umm he definitely insulted Wilson for no reason? How is he going to get mad at her for moving on when he’s the one who cheated on her?

Did these young black men really expect the mother of their child to never date again, and thus never have another man around their child? Or did they believe that another man should never be around their child no matter what? Pretty unrealistic if you ask me.

As many pointed out, Ciara definitely hung out with Future’s other children while they were dating.

But no, it’s different this time. Because we’re talking about the fragile male ego.


The mere thought of another man playing and spending time with his child is infuriating! Oh hell no! “You can date all you want, but don’t you dare bring him around my child!”

Actually it’s our child, meaning it’s not solely up to you.

Fellas, if you have a problem with another man possibly being around your child(ren), then marry your baby’s mother.

But I’m getting off topic. I really wanted to understand why so many were quick to side with Future, who was clearly in the wrong to me. I noticed two things about the men defending him: (1) They were young and (2) They were Future fans.

One of my followers said her dad told her that if he was young, he’d side with Future, too, but now that he’s older and wiser, he sides with Ciara.

A lot of these young black men were Future fans who were letting their love for Future the artist and his music carry over into their love for Future the person. Uh-uh. Two different people.

Maybe it’s just me. But to me, if you’re wrong, you’re wrong no matter if I like your art or not. Future, you wrong, boo!

I’m still going to jam to 56 Nights doe.

Then it dawned on me: Oh. I thought. Guys actually think like Future’s lyrics.

Unlike me, some guys don’t just laugh and say “Future ain’t shit but he sure knows how to make a good song!”

Guys are really out here choosing the dirty over their down, loyal fiancees. Oh.



Instinctively, I wanted to chalk it up to men being stupid, but the thinker in me really wanted to know why so many are bent on fucking over the women in their lives. I thought it had to be deeper than the once-upon-a-time-they-got-their-hearts-broken-and-they’ve-been-players-ever-since explanation.

It reminded me of a larger issue I see in black dating culture: men’s tendency to put down the women in their lives to assert their masculinity.

Hip-hop/rap music is no stranger to criticisms of misogyny. Future is by no means the first ungentlemanly rapper, so I don’t mean to pick specifically at him. He’s just what’s hot right now.


Now, I don’t expect Future to be a perfect role model for how to treat women just because he’s in the limelight. I know that he’s merely reflecting dating culture, not creating it. It still doesn’t make it right.

When a hurt man disses the woman he was once in love with, the woman who is also the mother of his child, the woman who he planned to give his last name, or simply the woman who would do anything for him, it’s not right no matter what. Mistreating your woman comes with consequences that may very well include getting left. Doesn’t a real man accept those consequences, not go on Twitter and insult the next man who was willing to treat his woman right?

Patriarchy and the way too narrow definition of “masculinity” (notice I didn’t say feminism) leads men to believe that feelings aren’t cool. In the black community, this has amplified to an all-out “treating women right in relationships” ain’t cool. Future is a product, not the cause.

I don’t think black men themselves are to blame, but frankly, I don’t care who or what is responsible. All I care about is a solution. Defending Future or your vile homeboys or your ain’t shit cousins or your cheating daddy because he upholds what is “cool” is definitely not one.

It starts with us. No matter how much you like to blast Future’s music, be able to turn the radio off and see that in real life, treating women badly or on the other end, allowing a man to treat you badly, is something that is never in style.


What are your thoughts? Comment below.

To read the male response to this piece, click here.

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Categories: Culture, Music, Uncategorized


  • Young Black Man

    Literally a countless number of unresearched opinions and assumptions. You can’t pass off why you think people behave the way they do as fact? What kind of bs journalism is that? As a young black fan of Future who agrees he was in the wrong I can tell you a lot of us like Future the artist because of Future the person. Many of us acknowledge the pain he’s going through and that’s probably why you misconstrued a lot of the defence of him as blind loyalty. Please, next time ask a ‘young black man’ why they do what they do instead of assuming you’ve figured out the very complex reality of being a ‘young black man’.

    “Patriarchy and the rigid definition of masculinity (notice I didn’t say feminism) leads men to believe that feelings aren’t cool. In the black community, this has amplified to an all-out “treating women right in relationships” ain’t cool. Future is a product, not the cause.”

    So patronizing. If you’d spend less time twerking to Future and listen about how he struggles with his vices daily maybe you wouldn’t be fundamentally wrong in understanding Future the person.

    • laylareaves

      Thank you for taking the time to comment.
      First off, I´m not a journalist. I´m a writer. This is a BLOG, not the NY Times, so yes I´m going to express MY opinions and things I´ve noticed from MY experience on MY blog. If I want to incorpórate “hard stats” and facts to back up my opinions, I will, but if I don´t feel like it–nah!
      Secondly, it´s funny how you call me patronizing whilst being very patronizing in the tone of your comment. Even going as far as to insult me. Hypocritical don´t you think?
      Lastly, you obviously lack critical Reading comprehension skills because the premise of the entire post was that I don´t like the way FUTURE TREATS WOMEN. I said nothing about the pain in his music or how complex being a Young black man is. I don´t know shit about being a Young black man All I know is that some MISTREAT WOMEN like it´s cool to do and they often DEFEND MEN LIKE FUTURE for MISTREATING WOMEN. I´m not talking about defending his music, which you´re doing here. I´m talking about defending Future the person FOR MISTREATING WOMEN which I clearly stated in the ciara-Russell Wilson example. Maybe reread that.
      Idgaf about the pain he´s going through blah blah that has nothing to do with my argument, which went way over your Head.
      If you can´t see the many black men who mistreat women because they think it´s cool, maybe it´s because you´re not a YOUNG BLACK WOMAN being mistreated by them idk But obviously it´s YOU who doesn´t get it.
      Btw, if you would have came at me in a respectful way, I would have gladly been open to discussing our differences in opinión in a healthy debate. But nahhh you had to make me be a bitch.

      Now if you´ll excuse me, I have some twerking to do. 🙂

  • Young Black Man

    Why do some young black men idolize the rapper Future? The short answer: they see themselves.

    Right there, how would you know? How would you know when you’ve never been a young black man before? Of course I was patronizing, because this statement was made by someone who’s never experienced our reality. And yet claims to be an expert in it. You might have witnessed it or been a victim of our reality but you never have been a young black man so how would you know why one of us idolize future?

    You said “your article is about how Future treats women” and yet you dedicated only 4 paragraphs to that premise and 9 to young black men blindly following him.

    Nine. Aside from the content it’s clear what the article is about just from the title.

    And I’m not defending Future, how could I, when I acknowlwdge he was wrong to behave the way he did?

    I’m defending young black men, because as one I can tell you the reason why I love and idolize Future is because despite his very own grim reality which has created an otherwise evil persona he’s trying to do his best. It inspires me because I’m experiencing my own grim reality and can recognize a fellow man who struggles with what he’s become because of the environment he grew up in.

    Why go the negative route? This is like the Fox news of blog posts.

    As a young black man I am offended by your post, be it journalism or not, because it reinforces stereotypes about the young black male psyche that are borne out of viewing surface actions.

    Nine paragraphs. Nine, of course I’m offended.

    • laylareaves

      There’s a difference between being a fan and idolizing. You just said you agree that Future is wrong, so I’m not talking to you! I’m talking to the ones who defend him EVEN WHEN HE’S WRONG. Again, I’m not talking about his music specifically I’m talking about the way he treats women. The ones who defend his mistreat women of women DO blindly follow him because they do the same shit! If you can’t see how I’m trying to highlight the mistreat of women without getting offended, then I don’t know what to tell you. I didn’t say to stop listening to Future. I didn’t target ALL Future fans. I clearly said the ones who defend him in spite of him being wrong. I don’t know about being a young black man and you don’t know about being a young black woman who directly experiences this. You don’t like my woman’s point of view? go read the male response, follow his blog, and let’s just “agree to disagree.” By the way, I’ll be posting a new post called “Men never lie” very soon. I’m actually speaking to the ladies in this one. I actually think you’d like it! Let me know. ttyl

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