Black men idolize Future because #masculinitysofragile (woman’s POV)
Why do some young black men idolize the rapper Future? The short answer: they see themselves. I’ll explain why that’s not necessarily a good thing.
To read the male response to this piece, click here.
Now, I have no shame. I’ll definitely be the first one running to the dance floor when they play “March Madness.” That. Is. My. Shit.
That’s not the only Future song I unabashedly jam out to: “Where Ya At,” “Fuck Up Some Commas,” “Trap Niggas.” And umm, have you heard Purple Reign??
I would even go as far as to argue Future’s a musical genius. People pegged him as a one hit wonder, but Future has been a steady presence in the rap game years now with hit after hit. It just won’t stop!
In other words: I’m a Future fan. He’s sensational.
What I’m not a fan of is the Future outside of the artistry. Nayvadius, I guess you could call him. That’s the man with four baby mamas, the one who cheated on his fiancee, the one who called the mother of his child and ex-fiancee a bitch, the one who disrespects his baby mom’s boyfriend–not a fan of that guy.
Nevertheless, that ratchet shaking her ass harder than the strippers to the latest Future banger in the middle of Stadium would be me. She would be me.
I don’t let my dislike for Future the person stop me from enjoying Future the artist. I’d miss out on a lot of good music! I shrug and keep on twerking.
On the other hand, there’s a difference between being a fan of a celebrity and idolizing a celebrity. Like there’s a difference between being a Beyonce fan and being a crazed Bey Hive member ready to curse out and fight anyone who insults King Bey.
“I’m thinking about this cash just like it’s fast food.”
My eyes were opened when that picture of baby Future and Russell Wilson surfaced. Wilson, Ciara’s new boyfriend, was seen playing with baby Future in Wilson’s jersey. The disrespect! Adult Future was not happy. He took to Twitter and called Wilson a “punk ass hoe.”
Can we take a minute to laugh at that insult?
Anyways, of course Twitter and Facebook was in an uproar! Everyone was discussing the picture in comments and tweets, debating whether or not Ciara was right to have her child around her new man. It was a split between Ciara being disrespectful for letting baby Future around her new man and Ciara being a grownasswoman who is capable of making the choice on whether or not to have her son around Wilson. Luckily, common sense prevailed and I saw more people lean towards the latter stance.
But I was shocked. I was shocked at the number of men, young black men especially, who staunchly defended Future.
Umm he definitely insulted Wilson for no reason? How is he going to get mad at her for moving on when he’s the one who cheated on her?
Did these young black men really expect the mother of their child to never date again, and thus never have another man around their child? Or did they believe that another man should never be around their child no matter what? Pretty unrealistic if you ask me.
As many pointed out, Ciara definitely hung out with Future’s other children while they were dating.
But no, it’s different this time. Because we’re talking about the fragile male ego.
The mere thought of another man playing and spending time with his child is infuriating! Oh hell no! “You can date all you want, but don’t you dare bring him around my child!”
Actually it’s our child, meaning it’s not solely up to you.
Fellas, if you have a problem with another man possibly being around your child(ren), then marry your baby’s mother.
But I’m getting off topic. I really wanted to understand why so many were quick to side with Future, who was clearly in the wrong to me. I noticed two things about the men defending him: (1) They were young and (2) They were Future fans.
One of my followers said her dad told her that if he was young, he’d side with Future, too, but now that he’s older and wiser, he sides with Ciara.
A lot of these young black men were Future fans who were letting their love for Future the artist and his music carry over into their love for Future the person. Uh-uh. Two different people.
Maybe it’s just me. But to me, if you’re wrong, you’re wrong no matter if I like your art or not. Future, you wrong, boo!
I’m still going to jam to 56 Nights doe.
Then it dawned on me: Oh. I thought. Guys actually think like Future’s lyrics.
Unlike me, some guys don’t just laugh and say “Future ain’t shit but he sure knows how to make a good song!”
Guys are really out here choosing the dirty over their down, loyal fiancees. Oh.
Instinctively, I wanted to chalk it up to men being stupid, but the thinker in me really wanted to know why so many are bent on fucking over the women in their lives. I thought it had to be deeper than the once-upon-a-time-they-got-their-hearts-broken-and-they’ve-been-players-ever-since explanation.
It reminded me of a larger issue I see in black dating culture: men’s tendency to put down the women in their lives to assert their masculinity.
Hip-hop/rap music is no stranger to criticisms of misogyny. Future is by no means the first ungentlemanly rapper, so I don’t mean to pick specifically at him. He’s just what’s hot right now.
Now, I don’t expect Future to be a perfect role model for how to treat women just because he’s in the limelight. I know that he’s merely reflecting dating culture, not creating it. It still doesn’t make it right.
When a hurt man disses the woman he was once in love with, the woman who is also the mother of his child, the woman who he planned to give his last name, or simply the woman who would do anything for him, it’s not right no matter what. Mistreating your woman comes with consequences that may very well include getting left. Doesn’t a real man accept those consequences, not go on Twitter and insult the next man who was willing to treat his woman right?
Patriarchy and the way too narrow definition of “masculinity” (notice I didn’t say feminism) leads men to believe that feelings aren’t cool. In the black community, this has amplified to an all-out “treating women right in relationships” ain’t cool. Future is a product, not the cause.
I don’t think black men themselves are to blame, but frankly, I don’t care who or what is responsible. All I care about is a solution. Defending Future or your vile homeboys or your ain’t shit cousins or your cheating daddy because he upholds what is “cool” is definitely not one.
It starts with us. No matter how much you like to blast Future’s music, be able to turn the radio off and see that in real life, treating women badly or on the other end, allowing a man to treat you badly, is something that is never in style.
What are your thoughts? Comment below.
To read the male response to this piece, click here.